Lies

Lie

No one can see what I see

No one can feel what I feel

No one can hear what I hear

No one knows what I think.

You simply cannot understand

All these emotions keep piling in

I don't address them, their voices getting louder

All of a sudden, tears are rolling down my cheeks

Screaming out of my mouth

I know things I shouldn't

I see things I shouldn't

I understand things I shouldn't

I know when you lie

Lies spilling out like a gutter of mud after a hurricane

Like water after a flood

Like beads rolling out of newly opened box

Like after you said I was your friend

Thankfullness

For Thanksgiving,

Sometimes you need a little gratitude

You have got to have a good attitude

When I notice I have been feeling a little spoiled

I think of the kids in Africa living in soil

I think of suffering, all the pain

And I remember they are the ones still dancing in the rain

I know

I walk inside
First thing I see is you
Screaming fills my ear
Chaos, wild thoughts
I almost feel a hatred fill my stomach
Toward you

Constant arguments
Jealousy, anger
Fills our hearts
How are we friends?
When I can't look at you

We each strive to be unique
My personality is mine
My heart is mine
My soul is mine
Not for you to take
Yet I feel you grasping desperately

Be yourself, not me
How can I be unique?
When you are always copying me

I talk to someone,
You listen
You do what we said
Anger fills me to the brim
I am a bomb ticking away
One day my immense Self Control
Will let go

Should I feel sorry,
After all, you must be lacking something
To always be trying to take it from me

Let me tell you something
I am going to be myself
You will never take my heart
Soul, uniqueness, creativity
Be yourself, or you are
basically
killing
yourself

Emtpy

Dear Emptiness,

Why do you fill my heart so,
Why is it sucking out my soul
Making me sarcastic
Making everything I say empty

Everything feels worthless
Whats the point?!
Everything will die?!
Why do I feel empty?

Why is there a vacuum sucking out my emotions?
Are you causing this?
Or is the love that is missing?
Am I missing the thing

The thing that makes my blood run
My heart beat
That makes my soul reach out
 and connect with yours?

Before I felt full
I had what I wanted
What I needed
But now you left, leaving behind emptiness

It flashed by
Love, passion fire
Now all I'm left with
is nothing

Nothing but pain
Anything and everything
setting me on an edge
When I think, I can think of nothing

When I try to connect with you
I feel nothing
But...
What we used to have

But with using the simple word"nothing"
I am filling it up with something
Is it pain, Is it the loss?
Is it that I feel alone, surrounded by people?

Is why my tears come out
Without knowledge
As if even every nerve has left me
alone, surrounded by people

I am running on an endless wheel
A hamster to your trap
I think I get You now,
I think I know

Why love sent me this
This emptiness
This pain
This loneliness

Thank you, Emptiness

Namaste,

(Molly)

Staring at the Sunflowers

So I wrote a short story about what life was like in Maui. Originally this was a joke between my mom and I but I turned it into a story I wanted to share.

Staring at Sunflowers

He paced excitedly in front of the door before barging in and yelling “I am in!”

“What!” His mother screamed before she hugged him, “ You are a cop now!” She ruffled his hair proudly.

“That's my boy !” said his dad ”Followin’ my footsteps. Your old man is proud of you, my son.”

“Yeah, I got sent to Hawaii, on Maui. Sergeant Curtis said I would get the case of the sunflower field. I think Sergeant Curtis hinted it was a murder. I leave in two days.”

“First assignment and this far ahead. When I was startin’ as a young’n, my first assignment was to vacuum the cop cars until I could get my own. Once as a young’n you used to  drive that little cop car off onto the street and you was pretendin’ to catch the neighbors in crime. You loved when old Mrs. Carol used to get  mail. You'd scream ‘,I got you red handed stealing.’ It was good those olden days but now you is a real police officer now.”

Tears started to form in his eyes at the thought of the exciting life ahead.

         *~*~*~*     1 week later    *~*~*~*

He entered the mess hall slowly slightly disappointed because this was nothing he’d thought it be. Life wasn't great but apparently, there was a rumor that the sunflower vandal had struck again. Boredom crept into his brain as he thought about another mindless day filling out pointless paperwork about people on the highway who drove at 50 miles per hour. Yay. He wanted to ask the sergeant if he could cover the case of the sunflower field alone.He walked over to Sergeant Jacob, his boss, and exhaled.

“Hey, Sergeant Jacob, I was wondering if I -I could, um oh gosh, uh, work th- on the case of the sunflower field, by myself” He stammered.

His great big bellowing laughed echoed in the empty mess hall.

“Of course! Just head over there at 7 am sharp and watch the fields for any people trying to come in. I would bring some coffee because you'll be out there 24/7. Try to sleep in 5 hours increments to make sure no trespassers can sneak in.”

“One last question Sergeant Jacob, what is the murder mystery case all about?”

“Murder Mystery! Wow, I  haven't had a laugh like that in a while.” He says gasping for air after his laughter had subsided.”I don't know where you got the idea of a murder mystery. That’s ridiculous! Some people were stealing sunflowers and drawing smiley faces on them.”

“Stealing sunflowers”

“Yep”

“I am going to be outside 24/7 to watch people to make sure they don't steal sunflowers.”

“Yep”

“Oh man”

“Yep”

Tomorrow at 7 am, he arrived at the sunflower field. He parked his car and pushed the door open mindlessly until something caught his eye.A group of teenagers was standing in the field taking selfies for their Instagram. He shooed them off the property but then spent the rest of the day sitting in his car on his phone searching up some entertainment. Finally, at sunset, his eyes drooping in boredom he made his way into the sunflower field. He then took a selfie of him kissing a sunflower with a smiley face on it facing the sunset. Once he posted it, he relaxed in his cop car to wonder why they needed a policeman to watch sunflowers. He didn't think a lot of interesting things happened on this lonely desolate island so the sunflowers must have seemed like quite the bang and trend.

He sighed in his disappointment and dreaded telling his father. The only thing good about this island are the beaches and waterfalls. He fell asleep dreaming about chasing criminals in the alleyways of New York, as a real cop, something that would happen later in his future he hoped.

Empty

Empty

Your words are empty

You are jealous

I don't listen

But what is that in my heart?

Like a twinge of pain when you say that

It can't be true

It replays, replays, replays, replays

Is it because I was mad?

Is it because you were mad?

I can't let myself listen

I have to dump out the dirty water

Don't let it get to me

You snap at me

A quote you  come up with

To me it makes no sense

Then you write it down

Angry at me, pride in your writing

Then you reread it, as if, to reassure yourself

I tell myself, to let it go

But yet the pit stays in my stomach

The needle becomes a hammer, then I’m holding the sky

Is it fair?

No

Do I like it?

You say you know me

You think I don't understand

Maybe I don't... but  you definitely kill me with misunderstanding

This is the last time

I won't do it

But I guess my words, thoughts are...

Empty

Fear

You leave me trembling
Tears streaming down my face
A waterfall down my stained cheeks
My frustration like a hurricane
My cries of anguish like the first gust of tornadoes, whipping around violently
Rain pours down, lightning strikes, thunder claps in rhythm to my heart
Repeating,repeating, repeating I can do this, but I know everyone doesn't believe in meBursting into silver raindrops containing the inner sadness no one understands
The aches are a rubber band pulled against my skin until its snaps, leaving red scars, a symbol of the fear
no matter how tiny it is to you, its the world to me
Don't control me, fear, leave me alone!

Gone

I know you won't come back
your scars are too deep
Those who hurt you, uncontrollable spirits

Times ticking and your not where you belong
You are with the wrong the people, doing the wrong thing
You are ten times above what you think you deserve

My tears fall gently on the cold barren ground
At the thought of you gone
Alone I stand

You are not leaving this home, world
But you are leaving me and my  heart
So my tears continue to fall, making a river

I will hear your laughter, I shall hear no more
I know your silence, your thoughts
You stand shoulders hunched, brooding, focused on something only you can see

I know you left
I know you are gone
But please have mercy, and let my memory live on

Gold Tear

Golden Tear

---

There are thousandths, millionths

But one crystal can be found

One for you, the light shining within

Soul, heart, and mind connected like a puddle, alone in the world

Two in a million, two falling together

It may rain diamonds, and amethysts

But there is one golden one for you

Together you may fall, amongst the millions, cascading

Splashing in a puddle that… will never fade

Two in a million, two falling together

Ripples against each other, pushing the others waves

Creating electrical current, chemistry, bubbles foaming

Walking the coal black street

Fading into a river, fading into a sea of maroon and umber

Two in a million, two falling together

But water is too loose, to free

It can't stay together

Whether it be soaked  and kept wet

It will always dry, unwashed and filthy,

Two in a million, two falling together

Containing lies that were hidden deep in the abyss

Jealousy revealed through hail and lightning

Murkiness, when it continues raining deep in the night

No affection in the air... only patient and consistent  fog, quiet until needed

Two in a million, two falling together

Black won't stay black and white won’t stay white

Grey when mushed, forgetting, what it was

Crystal clear when gently swirled

Ground calling, but, don't you want to float?

Two in a million, two falling together

If my heart is the ocean

My soul, a waterfall, always plummeting and rising in fine mist

Why do put a barrier to my current, like a curious beaver?

Please don't change the direction I'm going with my life

Tear has two meanings

The way you tear my heart, my river, always chasing the one

The way you jerk it with your rough mind

But carries my soul my flow with your soft hands

Two in a million, two falling together

I am a raindrop, You are my golden tear

The one I chase relentlessly, through sleet and snow

We share our river, the flow, the current

When we reach our waterfall, we fall together,

Only to rise together

Two in a million, two falling together

There are thousandths, millionths

But one crystal can be found

One for you, the light shining within

Soul, heart, and mind connected like a puddle, alone in the world

Two in a million, two falling together, rising...flying together